July 18, 2010


ME + me : Unsere ME-Fuehrerinnen und ME-Fuehrers


I was too wasted yesterday to write a Nederlog or indeed much else (though I wrote a little on probability, but not for the site so far). Happily, the weather is much less warm here in Amsterdam so while I am still wasted I don't feel awfully crapulous anymore.

That however - not feeling awfully crapulous - may be classed under the minor miracles if you have access to the same ME-forums as I do, which meanwhile all the world seems to have and share and grok, and use for their own personal ends, aberrations, propaganda and obsessions, in the name of our community, of course, for

"We are all on the same side."

Except for me or Eric Johnson from I&I as that neurasthenic nietzschean neo-nazi calls himself on PR-I, though I must admit, in all truth, that just as he didn't know what "neurasthenic" means, until a few days ago, though he has been on PR since 2009, I actually don't know the meaning of any of the terms I use, never having googled e.g. "nazi" in my life.

Also, I invariably mean things at least as well as Eric or Patricia, or anybody else, since we are all equivalent anyway, except Uebermenschen like Eric, who are a bit more equivalent, especially having honked their ring to Bill Reeves or such, of course for the noblest of human reasons.

1. Let's scare the hell out of the nitwits
2. We are all neurasthenic nietzschean neo-nazis like Eric

1. Let's scare the hell out of the nitwits

It would seem to me - but I am extra-ordinarily dimwitted, compared to legal eagle types Patricia, I think I may safely infer, some think - that persons with ME at present are a lot better of, in principle, than they were before October 2009.

The reasons reside in a few facts that I have written much more about on this, so I only list them

  • there is a newly discovered retrovirus in human beings, that may be dangerous for quite a few reasons, and has been linked probabilistically with prostate cancer, ME/CFS, and quite a few other diseases
  • this was expounded in an article by scientists working at the Whittmore Peterson Institute in the prestigious journal Science in October 2009.

This is good news for people with ME, and bad news for people collecting blood for blood transfusions, because for the former it gives both a chance for some real scientific light on a possible cause of ME while for the latter it means that if the relation between XMRV and various dangerous diseases stands, there is serious danger many might eventually get some dangerous disease after having had some blood transfusion e.g. for a minor operation or accident.

Meanwhile, what the real facts are is not established, and indeed

  • several papers have been published by groups of socalled "scientific researchers" connected with the psychiatrists and bureaucrats who for decades have tried to make all bio-medical research impossible and deny funding for it, on the ground that some psychiatrists claim to have scientifically established that ME is mental, a dysfunctional belief system, all in the head, or else involves decades of parasitic malingering on such riches as the dole provides; though
  • all these papers were by Wessely and Reeves themselves - the very same folks without the least biochemical or retrovirological knowledge as tried to make out for decades anybody with ME is a mad wimp anyway - and/or by their acolytes; full of methodological holes; and published in far less or totally unprestigious journals

This is - in brief - what anyone with some knowledge of ME would expect, and take this as fairly to very ludicrous attempt to stem the tide of real science.

Not so: Spurred on by a few recent arrivals on ME-forums, a veritable hysterical mood was soon created on ME-forums, that were flamed even higher with the new that

  • a very prominent medical professor and researcher, dr. Alter, has together with others, and working for the NIH and/or FDA, that is important US governmental health-institutions, established that (i) the Science study is quite correct and so (ii) the CDC, Reeves, Wessely and other "studies" are incorrect - but
  • before Alters paper, that was already accepted for publication, it is claimed, got published, it was put on hold, it seems by some internal US governmental politicking
  • and dr. Alter's paper is still on hold, but has been promised to appear soon.

Now if it appears essentially unaltered, that is, with the findings in it that were earlier reported and are summarized above, the position of persons with ME improves a lot, even if in fact XMRV does not cause ME (which nobody knows for sure, just as nobody knows for sure it does not), for this will very probably trigger a great amount of research and indeed the required funding, to do real bio-medical research on matters at least related to ME, that may uncover a lot that sofar lies hidden in the dark.

That's why I am fairly optimistic - after 32 years of living with ME or at least the syndrome the Canada Criterions detail - but then I must assume a lawyer like Patricia knows and understand these things far better than I do.

For one thing, she understands the major importance of Toos Lansbergen, who'd love to see me gassed, for ME-lists that she or Cort lead as Fuehrerin and Fuehrer, respectively, so much that I got a hardly polite answer on my request to stop Lansbergen's sadism.

For another thing, Patricia wants to see Action, Dramatic Action, Radical Action, of course if possible before Dr. Alter's paper gets published, and certainly after it, and the more radical the better:

If we don't do something that gets the public's attention, we'll be in for another 20 years of illness with no help from our governments.  If it takes scaring the public to get research money, then I'm in favor of scaring the public.


I do think (..) if we want to get anyone's attention, we need drama.  Nicey-nice slogans are going to get us more of the same, and I, for one, am sick to death of this.

Here one must realize that Patricia is a mother and grandmother, with an excellent income or years, and a pretty face for a woman of her age, if her photo is hers and not doctored, but then I'll probably get mails by a very irate Patricia in case I publish her former likeness here, though I may do so eventually.

But it is true that Patricia has a point, for CFS=XMRV does TERRRIBLE things to you, not only to one's permanently brainfogged, hypoperfused and anyway legalese mind, if one is a former lawyer with children and grandchildren and a live=living death...

...o here is a Dutch contribution, in its full rational glory

I had a dream about this thread last night, I can't get my slogan out of my head, so here it is:

Death is one way to lose life
XMRV is another

Best to All

...which surely is a metaphysical discovery of major importance (another way to lose life than by death!), for which one needs a Dutch mind to arrive at...

...but then indeed Patricia has a serious and true point, for while I cannot yet show her true mature beauty (that reminds me of Theo van Gogh's fondest dreams, but that is for another day, unless you read Dutch) for reasons of privacy, I can show you one of the scary things Patricia wants to warn all of mankind about:

"silence=living death

So you can clearly see - I hope! - why some women like my dear Patricia want Action Now: In and around blood banks; by giving infected blood to blood banks and then writing angry legalese letters that the blood banks' folks infect Our Home Of The Brave; by organizing demonstrations (of ill people in slippers, carrying socks, with blood on their faces while rythmically hitting their own bedpans and chanting "li-ving death; li-ving death")... in brief, by Radical Activism.

This namely, the dear Patricia, former top legalese eagle, I understood, truly believes will change the plight of the ME-patient for the best.

I have tried to discuss with the dear lady, whose hitherto silently lived living death was so scary, but then someone like her doesn't really discuss with the likes of me, and indeed doesn't like to see me on such lists she leads, for I clearly lack The Lansbergen Factor.

Meanwhile others feel like Patricia - the Fuehrerin of ME-F - as well, with such equally rational and reasonable insights and desires:

If only people WOULD panic! (sigh)

I think the only time the public panics is when they see the tsunami coming toward them. 


XMRV is a plague and people should be aware of it. 

although a rare few say "No" too - but then they are neither Fuehrers nor Fuehrerinnen of Folks With Real ME, like Patricia is, seen above in her (I honestly do admit) truly horrible plight since having "CFS=XMRV=living death"- incidentally as legalesely correct as any pair of very sophisticated mathematical equations could get!.

Even so, I counsel some care, with throwing off the mask that hides the horrors from "CFS=XMRV=living death", because personally I incline to thinking that scaremongering is precisely what Bill Reeves and Simon Wessely would like to see done on the part of people with ME ("See that they really are nutcases?! What is the use of funding research in such nut cases?! In these economically difficult times?!"), but then personally I have seen a very great lot of activism, all of which only helped the authorities, the establishment or else indeed the Fuehrers and Fuehrerinnen of Radical Activists who themselves want to become authorities and establishment. (And so they did!)

But then I am an old cynic, of course.

Which leads me to my second and last topic of today:

2. We are all neurasthenic nietzschean neo-nazis like Eric Johnson from I&I

I didn't realize "neurasthenia" was in use, at all, by anyone in the last several decades. I was sure I'd read that it had totally died out (as a diagnosis) not many decades after Beard got it going. I guess not.
Eric Johnson from I&I
member PR since Dec 2009
"research scientist"

Friedrich & "Eric" admiring one another lovingly as true supermen

Here are some selections of Erich Johnson from I&I from the last days, who honked his ring to Bill Reeves long ago, it seems, for he has just the same opinions, and sounds the same too, for he writes like a phishing trolling sadist working for CDC, who knows VERY well what he is about, with my boldings and links and brief comments in small print added, to help you get the right superhuman appreciation:

I think CCC-defined CFS equals neurasthenia, and I think some non-CCC CFS cases are also the same disease. But I can't prove either, of course. I am not 100% confident about neurasthenia, rather much less than 100%. 70%?

A probabilistic genius, this researcher from I&I

I read/skimmed some of the old books on neurasthenia by Beard(?) or whoever it was that originated that diagnosis in the late 19th century. They are on google books. I couldn't find reference to post-exertional exacerbation in the neurasthenia literature, despite finding extensive descriptions of symptoms. If someone can find this smoking gun then I would be much more confident that neurasthenia is CFS.

So honest! So realistic! So precisely like Reeves & Wessely since 1988!

Also, while I'm agnostic and basically a Nietzschean (which makes it pretty hard to be a christian), I suspect that the partial eclipse of the christian faith and world order may have been the largest cause of fascism and bolshevism. They each (separately) furnished a trans-personal and trans-mortal meaning of existence, to replace the eclipsed christian one.

Eric = big heaps trans-personal and trans-mortal philosopher!

I don't know what drives me to mention my not-so-requested opinions on things so much when sleep-deprived, or for that matter all the time. Let it be said in my defense that the underlying cause is a multi-focal softening of the brain, so to speak. Maybe when the Alter paper finally comes out, it will improve my manners. This has been a bit of a nervous time.

I think psychos spell it with S and M Eric, my superhuman whip-wielding researcher!

I can't resist one more random thing. I think XMRV is an interesting potential cause of the illness of Nietzsche - not necessarily of his psychotic paralysis, but the symptoms he had before that. Odds are probably against it, even if XMRV did exist at the time, but it's possible.

Which is all the rational Nietzschean neurasthenic minds needs.

Scholars have debated diagnoses including syphilis, fronto-temporal dementia, and I think brain cancer. I sometimes suspect that his anxious mania, whatever the cause, put a little extra twist of extremism into him, which may have had an unfortunate effect on the 20th century.

Such depth of explanatory vision!

I take it you don't like me connecting XMRV with 'neuroses' like anxiety, mania, or depression. Nietzsche had other lifelong symptoms though, such as frequent migraines, which I did not mention because I doubt they were as relevant to what he wrote. Anyway, it's been so long since I stopped thinking of 'neuroses' as likely to often be psychogenic, that I am just not accustomed to thinking that way anymore. The thought that you might react that way didn't occur to me.

For one who didn't know neurasthenia is in use, most amazing, but then this is precisely the new CDC/KCL position: Every "disease" has a "physical component". And the thought that anyone with ME might be upset in any way by anything a Nietzschean neurasthenic neo-nazi writes just doesn't occur to me either.

I realize though that we have a public relations or 'communications' problem there, and that one would not do well at all to emphasize 'neurotic' phenomena. That would be naive. On the other hand, my view is that it is not expedient (or true) to deny the elevated prevalences of neurotic phenomena in ME/CFS.

Precisely: We are all lying, Eric want is to be quotable from an ME-patientslist. Inexpedient as that for a neurasthenic like Eric is.

You understand of course, I am speaking of neuroses solely as uninterpreted raw phenomena, with no etiology implied. Perhaps the term neuroses is too encrusted with the follies of the generations of man, and someone can suggest a different word.

OF COURSE! So honest! So clearminded! So much the place also, to find a new acceptable term!

Many people can sense neurotic phenomena keenly, they can see perfectly clearly that these are commoner in CFSers, and I imagine that you won't dissuade them even if you want to do so. So, I don't *raise* the topic, but if it ever comes up, which it does, I do not deny it.

I can sense psychotic phenomena clearly, through the noble neurasthenic Nietzschean's prose, unless of course he is as sane as Bill Reeves. But just if the topic comes up: I won't deny Eric is a real rotter.

There was one paper I actually sort of admired (grudgingly) about stress contributing to MS. It entirely avoided retrospective subjective ascertainment of stress. It simply examined whether there was any correlation between one of a person's children having died (a 100% objective, ascertainable event) and the risk of that person later getting MS (multiple sclerosis). There was a two-fold (or so) elevation of risk. Still, there could be possible confounds.

100% objective proof both ME and MS are twice as likely to suffer from stress related disease, apart from possible confounds, of course, research-scientifically speaking.

Even so, it's good to keep such a finding on file. Suppose a qualitatively and quantitatively similar result were to come out on CFS. One could then very rightly say "The new result in CFS is the same as an old finding in MS, so the new result seems to suggest that CFS and MS are 'biopsychosocial' to about the same degree."

Just as Bill and Simon have been telling these neurasthenics with "fatigue" for decades! And here we have the honest neurasthenic neo-nazi, also with ME, who agrees! How nice for Bill and Simon!

Adam, hmm, when I say that we as a group have elevated levels of anxiety, depression, etc that are evident to people, I guess I must admit am relying partly on my own impressions. I still have moderate OCD (gotta make sure that emergency brake is on - gotta make CERTAIN), and I once had slamming degrees of depression and anxiety.

So Adam, don't you dare think a research scientist like Eric the Nietzschean doesn't know both science and experience better than you!

So I know all the hallmarks, such as guilty rumination about long-past minor misdeeds, in depression. But I have no doubt really that those things contribute to how we get viewed by so many doctors, healthy people, and so on.

So again Adam, don't you dare to even suggest that a thoroughly honest superintelligent research scientist like Eric the Nietzschean, superhumanly gifted also, could not know how "we" - that is: you, and me, and Patricia, and he, and everyone with real ME, like Eric the neurasthenic Nietzschean neo-nazi - experience reality like the wimps we really are, if not yet Nietzschean, that is.

Today psychologists tend to express themselves in arcane ways - but time was, guys like the 'discoverer' of neurasthenia, Beard, would say frankly "they're nuts, they wear themselves out with their endless anxiety, they're so pessimistic, they're out on guilt trips about the oddest little things, so naturally they ruin their physical vigor."

"Frankly" Adan, you are "nuts", and that is why you are depressed and without physical vigor, you wimp. If you had been smart and enterprising enough to be a Nietzscheam Nazi like Eric, you could have seen this yourself, mate!

(Though if I recall, Beard was actually somewhat authentically sympathetic toward his patients, thinking that they did suffer terribly after all, and could not easily avoid the fate that they had.)

Just like Simon and Bill and Peter and Michael: They have so much sympathy with the horrible suffering your confused non-Nietzschean sub-human mentality has made you sych a lazybones! But they don't doubt your terrible suffering, my stupid non-Nietzschean friends: you just are too wimpy to accept your own responsibility, Eric the neo-nazi says,

And I am pretty sure that those elevated prevalences of depression and anxiety do exist among CFSers. Around 40 or 50% for depression.

Plusminus a d-interval of uncertainty, of course. Otherwise, Eric has established that 8,5 million neurasthenics are also depressed, apart from that interval of uncertainty, research-scientifically speaking.

I took only a 10 minute look at google and at my Byron Hyde ME/CFS book last night,

Proof positive, among research-scientists!

but the different reports seem to be fairly well in agreement on that. Not perfectly, of course. I would have to read a lot to be more certain. Our good friend De Meirleir found around a 50% rate of what they call generalized anxiety disorder ('generalized' as opposed to other anxiety syndromes like OCD),

Eric's and ours= good friend De Meirleir agrees with his good friend Eric, of course: Half of the 17 million neurasthenics are bleeding anxious wimps and obsessively compulsive denying their not, so our neo-nazi fellow-patient research-scientifically established honestly.

though some others before him did not find that. Hyde is another passionate advocate for us,

"us" as in for "Eric the neo-nazi Nietzschean, and me, and Adam, and Dr. Yes" and 17 million fellow neurasthenics of Eric, with OCD and 'generalized' anxiety

so he wouldn't have this stuff about depression and anxiety in his book if he thought it was invalid (though it is by another contributor, not from his own pen).

And that is logic, Nietzschean-Ericean neurasthenic style.

Then there is Eric's sidekick from cuckooland Awol: (student of philosophy of architecture, most fit to judge, after a few years of what she says is ME):

point is,

just like ME, neurasthenia was not originally psychological really.

See, students of architecture knows this like they know architecture.

It became that way rather quickly for reasons already discussed above on this thread. The argument that the story of neurasthenia has been repeated with CFS is strong. An illness is there, researchers are too lazy to try to understand complicated things, so they decide it is the patient's fault.

So once more, people: At the CDC and KCL and in Nijmegen people never ever lie: They are just a bit incompetent. Don't you ever forget it: Bill Reeves never lied! He just is and always was lazy! An architect-student knows these things.

There are important parallels between the two stories that it is important, from an activism standpoint, to recognize and discuss. As I said in my earlier post, the pattern of behaviour, on the part of doctors and researchers was established with neurasthenia, and then continued with CFS. This has nothing to do with declaring CFS to be psychological.

You see? Clear as daylight.

Here is more Eric the neurasthenic Nietzschean neo-Nazi, this time on who else of his heroic Uebermenschen might have been afflicted like our nn the NN (for "Eric Johnson" probably has quite another name when contributing to Bill Reeves ecstasies):

The Great Khan showed a certain aggressiveness. But I think his drives were those of rude and ruddy heartiness, not pathology. Considering his 100,000-odd grandsons and 300 million living patrilineal descendants, he was the picture of health and then some on a Darwinian view. He may be almost the healthiest (fittest) organism of all time, amorally speaking. What about Thomas Jefferson, though? I understand that because he once answered the door in his pajamas, present-day scholars have convicted him of Aspergerism. Might this reflect congenital infection with the same yet-unidentified agent currently causing Colony Collapse Disorder amongst our nation's honeybees? Only careful experimental work can answer that question.

Thomas Jefferson too had XMRV, Eric means, who but for a slight inconvenience himself would be the "(fittest) organism of all time", research-scientifically speaking, of course, or at least he slept with what a Nietzschean neo-nazi wouldn't get defiled by, o no sirree!

Anyway... sleuthing the illness of Nietzsche is a forensic historical matter, one should be clear about that. There will almost certainly never be any certainty.

As professor Simon so often stresses, so don't blame him or Eric if they are honestly mistaken!

 It may be Wissenschaft, but it is kind of borderline to call it "natural science." Still, it is a drastically important question in world history. I can hardly help wondering.

By the way, Abe Lincoln was gay. Wife said he was emotionally distant.

This Eric the great amoral neo-nazified Nietzschean said because he believes his respondent was like Abe. Eric is such a lovely guy! Honked his ring personally to Bill Reeves, some say, even though the research on this is, as yet, uncertain.

I only read 100 pp of Mr Proust's book but on page 80 or so he describes rather condescendingly his quite sick and rather bedroom-bound aunt. The fact that he quasi blew off her suffering is itself mild evidence in favor of a diagnosis of CFS, since no other disease has been equally sneered at. I think he said that she took care not to over-exert herself but I am not certain. Some sources suggest that Proust himself had 'neurasthenia.'

Another poofter, Eric the neurasthenic neo-nazi means to convey. See: Men with ME, if they are not called Eric, and therefore beyond suspicion or aspersion, are mostly gay, Eric wants so suggest. Also, Proust was a bit SM, like Eric, so Eric honestly conveys, besides being gay. Ah yes: and a neurasthenic.

Don't you think I was much more manic yesterday though? But I have been much worse than that on occasion.

So you evil evils should blame our lovey dovey Ericky boyee! He means so well!

I write a lot largely in order to help hard-wire stuff into my memory, and then exercise it.

Precisely - and all those neurasthenics who think they have ME and don't want to hear they are neurasthenics get Eric's mental aberrations for free, as his fellow neurasthenics on an ME-forum.

Otherwise, everything I know will collapse, as a lot already has. How many times did I absorb the rebellious little book "T cells in arthritis"? I remember almost nothing. Many happy times have also made their way out of my mind, into the great unconscious din where they are not known.

Right: Better forget Eric ever wrote anything on an ME-forum, so you won't recognize it either if Bill Reeves or Simon Wessely quotes it at you, as speaking for a typical patient, albeit it superhuman and neurasthenic.

So, if you want to employ a sick sadist, a typical Untermensch who believes himself to be an Uebermensch, and who just LOVES fucking ill people over, it is Eric Johnson from I&I you got to search for, that is, if you can't get Reeves, Jones, Wessely or White: Same human type; same procedures; same lies; same sadistic impertinence, for one can't find him anyway to kick his goolies in his throat.

That is not what I recommend anyway, but I do like to know who he really is, and here our dear Fuehrerin Patricia may be of help, for while I have not the least idea who this sick sickening sadistic neurasthenic nietzschean neo-nazi-like Uebermensch might be (Jonesy perhaps, from CDC?), Patricia KNOWS or at least, Patricia assured Ms. Suzy Chapman confidently, squarely and precisely:

Perhaps you do not know who our members are, Suzy, but we do

Mrs. Patricia please, please, please, please missis!

I do not know who you are; I do not know who you're co-leader is; I do not know where either of you can be found; I do not know whether either of you is really ill; I do not know whether you look like the photo you put up as yours; and I do not know very, very, very much more that I would like to know for people associating with me, engaged in, as you please to consider it, "a war", which you are engaged in to free yourself from "living death".

It so happens that Ms. Chapman is easily to be found by any legal eagle, and so am I, for which reason I am - I must say - glad not to personally figure anymore on any ME-forum, these having such amazing Fuehrerinnen, Fuehrers and especially such amazingly intelligent, sane and honest prominent members like "our community member" Eric the neurasthenic nietzschean neo-nazi. (*)

I just one to make an everlasting contribution to "Eric Johnson from I&I" his career! In his own and others' very best interest, o Patricia!

So please Patricia, please: Since you full well know where Eric lives, what he earns, how ill he really is, what else he knows about Nietzsche, what his real name is, and also, undoubtedly, whomever he does not reckon to be subhuman, mail me who he really is, so that I may praise him fulsomely on my site, where he may even answer once I know who he really is.

Please?! You did speak the truth, didn't you, Patricia?

P.S. Tomorrow there may be more on the subject of sadistic pseudos, politicos or bureaucrats, that may astonish many who do not know the Amsterdam ways as they really are, but I make no promises in view of being quite PEM'ed.

Today has been wasted on this neo-nazi-like freak, but then it is true that I am very glad that I am no "one of us" in any club Eric the neurasthenic Nietzschean is a member of.

Life's happiness is in savouring its small pleasures!

P.P.S. It may be I have to stop Nederlog for a while. The reason is that I am physically not well at all. I don't know yet, but if there is no Nederlog, now you know the reason.

As to ME/CFS (that I prefer to call ME):

1. Anthony Komaroff

Ten discoveries about the biology of CFS (pdf)

3. Hillary Johnson

The Why

4. Consensus (many M.D.s) Canadian Consensus Government Report on ME (pdf)
5. Eleanor Stein

Clinical Guidelines for Psychiatrists (pdf)

6. William Clifford The Ethics of Belief
7. Paul Lutus

Is Psychology a Science?

8. Malcolm Hooper Magical Medicine (pdf)

Short descriptions:

1. Ten reasons why ME/CFS is a real disease by a professor of medicine of Harvard.
2. Long essay by a professor emeritus of medical chemistry about maltreatment of ME.
3. Explanation of what's happening around ME by an investigative journalist.
4. Report to Canadian Government on ME, by many medical experts.
5. Advice to psychiatrist by a psychiatrist who understands ME is an organic disease
6. English mathematical genius on one's responsibilities in the matter of one's beliefs:
   "it is wrong always, everywhere, and for anyone, to believe anything upon
     insufficient evidence
7. A space- and computer-scientist takes a look at psychology.
8. Malcolm Hooper puts things together status 2010.

"Ah me! alas, pain, pain ever, forever!

No change, no pause, no hope! Yet I endure.
I ask the Earth, have not the mountains felt?
I ask yon Heaven, the all-beholding Sun,
Has it not seen? The Sea, in storm or calm,
Heaven's ever-changing Shadow, spread below,
Have its deaf waves not heard my agony?
Ah me! alas, pain, pain ever, forever!
     - (Shelley, "Prometheus Unbound") 

    "It was from this time that I developed my way of judging the Chinese by dividing them into two kinds: one humane and one not. "
     - (Jung Chang)

See also: ME -Documentation and ME - Resources

P.P.S. ME - Resources needs is a Work In Progress that hasn't progressed today.

(*) Sorry my fine Nietzschean friend, if I do you an injustice: I never googled "nazi" or "neo" or even "neurasthenic" or "Nietzschean", and I mean this quite as honestly as your own superhuman self sees these things. Also, I have personally no p-values for how these would be used in a community where you ought to be in. So sorry!

Maarten Maartensz

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