This is the Nederlog of May
It is not an ordinary crisis issue, and it isn't simply because I could
find only one item - among the usual 40+ sites that I check
everyday, to be sure - that belongs to the crisis.
That one crisis item follows below, as the first item (and no, I agree
it isn't very spectacular either).
But this gives me space to write about other things. I have three
updates: One on Suzy Chapman, one on my eyes and one on my ME.
In case this is not of interest to you (and it seems most who read me
are not interested in M.E., which is quite OK with me) you'll have to
wait till tomorrow, when there very probably will be another crisis
report. (And I have left the intro to the crisis
1. House Committee Puts NSA on Notice Over
- and only crisis - item today is an article by Justin Elliott that I
found on Truthdig but originally appeared on ProPublica:
This starts as follows:
An amendment adopted by a
House committee would, if enacted, take a step toward removing the
National Security Agency from the business of meddling with encryption
standards that protect security on the Internet.
As we reported with the
Guardian and the New York Times last year, the NSA has for
years engaged in a multi-front war on encryption, in many cases
cracking the technology that is used to protect the confidentiality of
intercepted communications. Part of the NSA’s efforts centered
on the development of encryption standards by the National
Institute of Standards and Technology, which sets
standards that are adopted by government and industry.
Documents provided by
Edward Snowden suggest that the NSA inserted a backdoor into one
popular encryption standard, prompting NIST to
launch an ongoing review
of all its existing standards.
this week by the House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology
would remove an existing
requirement in the law that NIST consult with the NSA on encryption
Note that all this
does is remove the requirement, and that NIST does not have a
large staff of cryptography experts.
There is more under
the last dotted link, and it is something, but it is not much.
2. Suzy Chapman writes again
I wrote on February 12 of
this year that Suzy Chapman had announced that from April 1 there would
be no more updates on her sites. I also explained that I had double
feelings about it:
I could very well explain it, at least with reference to my own
similar decision (of 2010, to be sure, that was strengthened by the XMRV-collapse), but I also
thought it a pity that about the only really intelligent and clear and
informed writer about M.E. and M.E.-related things had stopped writing.
Well... since then she several times updated Dx Revision Watch, and seems
back since yesterday, I suppose because she found that without her
there is no one who really knows about the - indeed quite complicated -
ICD-changes, while the work she has done was highly regarded by many
medical and psychological professionals.
To be sure: I am guessing here, and also merely reporting what
What do I think about it? She knows a whole lot more about the
ICD than I do; her site was very well liked by professionals (while the
ordinary anonymous ME-patient found it too complicated, which also
meant that quite a few of these anonymous folks were - anonymously, of
course - against it, also without the least of politeness or
understanding, but then such considerations will not limit an ordinary
anonymous Facebook-hero); and I liked her sites as welll; while
complete consistency is mostly for dead men and women only.
So she is quite welcome, and indeed does a job that is difficult
and is not done at all or not done as well by others.
But it will not change my decision to keep far from meeting
ordinary anonymous M.E.-patients: I have totally had it with
the anonymous mostly evil-minded and always stupid and ignorant brain
dead. (I am sorry: the differences simply are too large. There are some
people with M.E. that I like, but I simply do not want to figure in a
context where the large majority is stupid, ignorant, completely
anonymous and grossly impolite to anyone less stupid or less
ignorant than they are, and who are so simply because they are totally
3. Two years of "dry eyes"
As I explained in the
introduction, the last two items were the only crisis items that I
today, and the rest of this Nederlog is mostly about personal things.
First an update on my eyes,
that started to be painful over two years ago, and in May-June of 2012
collapsed quite painfully, which made the use of an ordinary
unadjusted computer, which has many white pages, completely
impossible, and made my life a lot more difficult: I did not
sleep sufficiently for 1 1/2 years (see also the next item) simply
because of continuous pain in my eyes, that felt like abrasions I had
to see through, and that also upset my mental functioning somewhat,
because of lack of sleep and because of continuous pain in my eyes, for
that also effected my visual imagination, which is uncommonly
strong in my case.
That is, I have
mental films in my head about virtually anything (real and imaginary):
moving colored pictures, although with little or no sound, going back
at least to 1954 in case of my memories, and no one I have talked with
has as good a visual imagination as I have, though I read reports about others who were similarly gifted - e.g. see William
James's "The Principles of Psychology": This is a link to chapter
18, in which you'll find a Mr X, who was rather like me.
Also, in my case I
can visualize anything I please, in full color and (apparent) detail , but it turned out this capacity was considerably
hindered by painful eyes: I still could do it, but not by far as well.
It is difficult to say what is the precise cause, for I also slept too
little for a long time, but it seemed the pain in my eyes - which are
a part of my brain - was the main cause.
The first half year
was really awful, and I much doubted I would ever have useful eyes
again, also because it was difficult to read anything. However, after
some 4 months of dripping every hour or every two hours with "Tears
Naturale" (as it is called, a bit strangely: it is mostly water, and of
course not natural tears) it stopped growing worse, which it had done
from June 2012 onward until October 2012, and since then it has, albeit
very slowly if also quite consistently, been growing
From September 2013
onwards, I also sleep again normally, albeit it with sleeping pills
(which had not helped a lot for more than a year: too much
At present, I still
have to drip every two hours and I still have pain most of the time,
and I also still need an adjusted computer, but after two years of
regular dripping I now occassionally forget to drip, and indeed also my
visual imagination is getting better, though that too is still not were
it was until 2012.
I do not know how
this will continue, but I seem to be returning now from the last two quite
low years, and indeed I have better, or less worse, eyes than I had the
last two years - which I can assure you is a good feeling: less
pain and a less hampered visual imagination, and normal sleep since 8
there is my M.E. that started on 1.1.1979 and is currently in its 36th
year, still without being accepted by the Amsterdam
bureaucracy, I suppose because I protested to the enormous illegal
drugsdealing that is protected by the Amsterdam mayors, aldermen,
council-members, police, district attorneys, judges and bureaucrats.
(And yes Americans and other foreigners: All the very many
"coffee-shops" that you buy your marijuana in in Amsterdam and the rest
of Holland are quite illegal - except that the mayor has kindly
agreed to their existence, I think for a percentage of the turnover.)
I do not
know against what percentage, and I do not know who
gets a percentage, but since it is over 25 years ago that I was gassed
by the drugsdealers + my then landlord, and since there has been a
turnover of at least 250 Billion dollars the last 25 years -
that is: $ 250.000.000.000 - merely in soft
drugs, and judged by the figures of the only parliamentary report done
about it, the Van Traa report
(<- on the site, in Dutch, with my Dutch notes
that make the report a lot more readable) of 1996, and since the real
number, when hard drugs are included may be twice as high over the last
25 years, and since 5% of $ 250.000.000.000 still is $ 12.500.000.000
(that is: 12 1/2 billion dollars) in
25 years it seems as if you must be a Dutch mayor, alderman,
council-member, policeman, district attorney, judge or bureaucrat to
insist that "No, no, no: it is impossible that we -
poor, honest, we! - also get a percentage of these incredible
totally untaxed riches! Trust us, we politicians etc. are honest men
Then again: No Dutchman writes about it (or in the very few cases this
happens, only lies: the last time I saw that the NRC wrote about it
they claimed so and so many kiloos were being sold - without saying
what this costs, and without referring once to the real numbers in the
Van Traa report: totally dishonest and completely misleading,
but also typically Dutch) and no Dutchman is willing to lift a
finger for me or against any corrupt Amsterdam mayor or judge or
district attorney, so it will continue and continue and continue, if
only to assure that the Dutch mayors, aldermen, council-members, police,
district attorneys, judges and bureaucrats will keep whatever
percentages they get, and it will never be legalized until the
rest of Europe legalizes - at least - soft drugs, that currently are
the most profitable and largest Dutch export, and have been so for many
years, thanks to (ex-)mayor Ed van Thijn and the great and untaxed
does this have to do with my M.E.? Merely this:
Until Amsterdam mayor Ed van Thijn refused, for nearly four years,
to even acknowledge receipt of hundreds of pages of documents
and letters by me (handed to his own personal guard, so he
certainly received them), I had ten years of what I must now insist was
relatively minor M.E. and I also had good hopes (that may well have
been false, but even so...) that I might get cured.
Ed van Thijn has willingly and purposely totally destroyed my
health , either for his own illegal drugsprofits
or for the illegal drugs profits of the Amsterdam drugs mafia, or for
both, that he and his successors have now protected for 25 years,
and since 1991 my health has been consistently much worse
than it was before, since I fell ill on 1.1.1979.
from 1991-2012 - 21 years - I was far more ill than I
was from 1.1.1979 till 1991. Between 2010 and 2012 I puzzled out - with
considerable trouble: it's not easy - a version of Freddd's
mB12-protocol  that helps me - which I had
to break off in June 2012 because of the awful condition of my eyes,
but that I have taken up again this year, also after - much to my
amazement, and counter to everything I knew - not collapsing in
2013 with considerably worse M.E. because of lack of sleep, and again
the protocol helps some: I certainly can do more than I could since
2012, and indeed also, it seems, since around 2000.
I do not
know whether this will keep working, and also do not know
whether I can keep buying metafolate (which is reported to become
forbidden - an utterly crazy measure, but one that increases the powers
of the totally corrupt psychiatrists), but for the moment I am doing
reasonably well, and have been the last three or four months.
tomorrow, I suppose again on the crisis.