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May 19, 2013
me+ME: Poetry of love
Sections
Introduction   
1. Shakespeare's Sonnet 78
2. Maarten's Sonnet for Judith-Elise
3. On writing poetry, fiction and other things
About ME/CFS


Introduction:

I am still paying back my walk of over three weeks ago, so I am still not feeling very well. But it may be improving some.

Before I go on, I should say that I have now copied the five files about Thoreau that I wrote during May 2013 in their own directory in
my philosophy section (170 MB, over 15,000 entries):
The Thoreau-index there is under the last link. I did not make any changes, except in the arrows that link them now in their new directory.

And now for some poetry:


1. Shakespeare's sonnet 78
So oft have I invoked thee for my Muse
And found such false assistance in my verse
As every alien pen hath got my use
And under thee their poesy disperse.
Thine eyes, that taught the dumb on high to sing
And heavy ignorance aloft to fly,
Have added feathers to the learnèd's wing
And given grace a double majesty.
Yet be most proud of that which I compile,
Whose influence is thine and born of thee.
In others' works thou dost but mend the style,
And arts with thy sweet graces gracèd be;
   But thou art all my art and dost advance
   As high as learning my rude ignorance.

2. Maarten's sonnet for Judith-Elise

Or so I feel when I see thee
And stand enrapt'd in awe and bliss
As all the me that is in me
Becomes engulfed in thee and all that is.
For all Nature seems to shine through thee
As I stand and stare and silently sing
In answer to the epiphany I see
For thou embodiest every thing.
Through thee I see all Nature flow
All shines through thee and thou in all -
So what can I do but gently bow
And tell thee how thou made'st me fall:
   That thou art all and all is thee
   And all in all make'st thou me see.

(written on 27.vi.1985)

3. On writing poetry, fiction and other things

I have a definite talent for writing, but never published on paper, apart from two pieces in the Dutch defunct daily "De Waarheid", in 1971; two pieces on philosophy in 1977; a booklet in a long defunct psychology series in 1981, called "Publishing in psychology" (but in Dutch); and ten pieces in Spiegelooog, in 1988-9. [1]

Apart from that, I published my site, which is 410 MB at the moment, about half of which is Nederlog, and 170 MB of the rest is philosophy, where there is some 30 MB or more of my own prose, nearly all as comments to philosophical classics.

Next to that, there is my Journal, of which I have 25 MB on disk, which is probably no more than half of it; and my Notes, of which I have 30 MB on disk, again probably no more than half or two/thirds of it.

Altogether, I wrote at least 100-150 MB of texts, and that is apart of the approximate 200 MB in Nederlog since 2004. Here it should be noted that in so far as this is on the site, it is in html, and hence a part of it is formatting. [2]

What you can get is the 200 MB of Nederlogs plus the 30 MB of my own prose in philosophy (in the comments to the classics, often as long as the classics), plus  ME in Amsterdam, again 88 MB, about half of which is mine and also not copied (for it also contains copied Nederlogs).

The reason I never even attempted literary fame in Holland is that I found nobody I could associate with: Holland is a small and provincial country, with many small and provincial writers, none of whom really appealed to me. [3]

Had I been English or American, my situation would have been quite different, and I might have tried to make a name for myself as a writer of fictional prose, or at least of literary prose.

But another reason not to publish literary fiction or prose is that it is not what I best like, which is scientific or philosophical writing - fiction does not quite qualify for me as there are no standards for truth, and fiction certainly never appealed to me in Holland in Dutch.

Then about the above poetry:

I think my lines, in this instance, are somewhat better than Shakespeare's. They also are literally true: This is how a woman may make me feel - in rare cases and brief moments of time.

And then I may write poetry, and otherwise I very rarely do.

Finally, why I
do not even care to publish on paper. There are two important reasons:

First, I do have a
site, which has the great advantages that I need nobody's permission and can publish whatever and whenever I want. Also, it is the only one of its kind - I have seen plenty of sites since 1996, but no one wrote as much as I did, in the ways I did it.

Second, I really am ill, and have been so for 35 years now. I can do far less than anyone who is healthy: Often, all I can do in a day is write a piece and quickly upload that. (Besides, I really do not like Holland. This is not by far as important as being ill, but it does set boundaries on my enthusiasms to see myself in print, in Dutch.) [4]

There are also other reasons, but they are derivative.

---------------------------------
Notes

[1] I think that is all, but I am not entirely sure. Also, I should add I had been asked for all of this, and very probably would not have done it otherwise.

[2] It is quite difficult to say how much is formatting.

[3] Indeed, I did not know anyone except for W.F. Hermans, who was an interesting man but not a great writer, and Theo van Gogh, to whom applies the same, and with both I stopped communicating in the 1980ies. Also, I have known a few others who wrote and published fiction in Dutch, but none with an English  Wikipedia-lemma. The only Dutch writer with a deserved international reputation is Multatuli (who died in 1887). I did comment all of his 7 volumes of ideas, but again nobody sees it (in this case, at least, this is pretense).

[4] Here I should add another detail: If I were to publish on paper, I would get a whole extra administration, that would be very heavy to do for me, while I can't make any money from publishing, as long as I am in the dole.

Then again, everything would be completely different had I been healthy, for then I would not live in Holland, to start with.

About ME/CFS (that I prefer to call M.E.: The "/CFS" is added to facilitate search machines) which is a disease I have since 1.1.1979:
1. Anthony Komaroff

Ten discoveries about the biology of CFS(pdf)

2. Malcolm Hooper THE MENTAL HEALTH MOVEMENT:  
PERSECUTION OF PATIENTS?
3. Hillary Johnson

The Why  (currently not available)

4. Consensus (many M.D.s) Canadian Consensus Government Report on ME (pdf - version 2003)
5. Consensus (many M.D.s) Canadian Consensus Government Report on ME (pdf - version 2011)
6. Eleanor Stein

Clinical Guidelines for Psychiatrists (pdf)

7. William Clifford The Ethics of Belief
8. Malcolm Hooper Magical Medicine (pdf)
9.
Maarten Maartensz
Resources about ME/CFS
(more resources, by many)


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