April 15, 2013

1. About what I wrote - 0
About ME/CFS


As before, a fairly brief Nederlog. And also as before, my writing style changed a bit, in that I write about what I wrote, rather than about ME/CFS or what is in the news, though I will return to that, but not just now.

1. About what I wrote - 0

I am a bit put off writing for this section - I must presume - because I slept decently for nearly a week now, after having slept for nearly a year far too little. (In last September I slept on average some 4 1/2 hours a night, while I need 8 hours a night.)

At least, that seems to be the main reason, indeed together with another decision I made, namely that I will not be writing anymore as I did before - by which I mean: writing as I did since the beginning of 2010, since when most of my writing was about ME/CFS.

Until then, I had for some 14 years written more and more of my site, always piecemeal, and always more or less in hiding, because I am really ill, though few people wish to believe this, and I also have had to try to keep the bureaucrats away.

Now that has succeeded reasonably well, although I am still not "an official Dutch invalid". But I have never been quite ill enough to absolutely need support, and  by now I am so old that meanwhile, and since more than a year, I have An Official Letter that tells me that I need not do any work, and also need not to do any solliciting for work, until May 1, 2015, which is slightly a week before I get to be 65, at which time - though probably now one month later - I am pensionable.

I still have to find out how that will turn out, but I suppose I will not be off much worse than I am now - which is, all in all, relatively OK: I think I get more money than the British and the US citizens in my position, and else I would have most probably been dead, since I really am ill, and have been ill since 1.1.1979.

Now lately - the last few days - I have been watching rather a lot of Gore Vidal, who was an American citizen who lived from 1925-2012; learned that he wrote over 20 books, and appeared rather a lot on TV; and got to be quite rich from the books he wrote.

Of course, he was not ill for 35 years of his life - but as it happens, I have done something similar, and indeed have done that mostly the last 16 years writing on my Nederlog.

In fact, what I wrote was at least as much, witing only about philosophy, and listing only what was finished (almost) - and I give links to my comments:
- Aristotle: Ethics
- Epicurus: Principal Doctrines
- Machiavelli: The Prince
- Rochefoucauld: Maximes et Pensées
- Descartes: Meditations
- Leibniz: Nouveaux Essays, Monadology
- Hume: Enquiries on Understanding and Morals
- Mill: On Liberty, Utilitarianism
- Multatuli: 7 delen Ideen: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
- Clifford: The Ethics of Belief
- Russell: The problems of philosophy
- Wittgenstein: Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus
Those are 21 volumes, nearly all as long as the books they comment on, and all written since 1995, i.e. in the last 18 years.

They are also all strictly philosophical, though well written, although indeed "strictly philosophical" is - perhaps - a bit strange as regards Multatuli, though even there it is mostly merited.

Also, I have to add that on the moment the greatest part of the first book of my comments on the Ethics of Aristotle is missing, and indeed that text also was not quite finished, indeed mostly for that reason, and because my health was not good. (It was there until 2009, and it was quite good, but disappeared.)

My comments to the Tractatus are still not finished, but otherwise most of it is done, and done well enough for a first edition, or indeed a second edition in the case of Leibniz (though even there a few links have still to be added).

The styles differ, as indeed do the languages: I spent most of my time on Multatuli, in Dutch, while all of the rest is in English, also if in the original it was in French.

Then again, although the styles differ, and although much is much more closely connected with the texts I wrote my comments on than is usual, and especially because I did something original: I commented the whole text that was reproduced wholly for that express purpose, it is also true that at least most of it is better written than most philosophy.

Besides... this is only the philosophy-section and in that only what I got mostly or wholly finished (for there is quite a lot more in that section).

There is also quite a lot more on my site (and as above, only a selection is presented):

        - Nederlog: 10 years
        - logic: Edwards
        - ME in Amsterdam: story from 1988-2007 
        - computing: index of squeak-notes
        - me: ME-Frame
Of the above, I regret the most how little there is in the logic section - but to do that well, I need to have a better head than I have had the last 20 years [1]. Then again, the Edwards section does excerpt a whole book and has long comments on it.

The ME in Amsterdam needs to be extended with another 5 years, though I can mostly do that with my Nederlog.

What got rather a lot less over the last 10 years is the computing section: I removed most, and only left (i) some pieces on various languages (ii) some "bits and pieces" - 26, to be precize - mostly relating to smalltalk or assembly and some odds and ends relating to Linux or to Squeak (though the last is quite a lot, but also quite old).

In fact, what I regret is the logic: FAR less than it would have been had I been healthy, and what I am rather amazed about is the Nederlog section: It is 10 years, but it also is at least 165 MB.

Now what I want to do is to write some about what I wrote since 1996, which is in fact some 16 years, in which I wrote the above, and made no money whatsoever with it.

I will leave that till the following days, and here will only comment on why I made not a penny:

It is again mostly, though not only, the Amsterdam corruption. I have been reduced to the above through my being genuinely ill, and being in absolute need of some safe source of constant income.

If I could have lived as I lived from 1979-1988, when I did live almost 7 years from money I got for my studies, though I spend at most half the time studying, I might have done without the dole, though I was forced into that in 1984 through my getting no money to study "because you have dole money", which I did not, and my getting no money to live
"because you have money to study", which I did not, and also through being rather lousy all the year of 1984, so that I had no choice.

Quite soon after that, the misery on the Elandsgracht started, whence I was forced to move in 1985, and after that my health situation just got worse, and remained worse, though it also varied - as is quite clear when you realize this is more than 25 years.

Anyway... enough of that: Too much of a completely ugly and hateful subject, that also cannot be restored.

What I do intend to do the coming days (and I don't know yet: it depends on my health and on some other things) is to write about what I wrote.

[1] Maybe I should briefly explain that point: While I did not have much of a mental reaction the first 10 years, from 1979-1988, I did get a mental reaction after that, that makes it considerably more difficult to do formal stuff. I can do so, and wrote a great number of notes - some 30 MB of notes, that is not on my site - but all of that was incidental, not systematic, and to work these out, as I think it ought to be done, I need a completely clear mind, at least most of the time, and I have not had that for at least 20 years now.

About ME/CFS (that I prefer to call M.E.: The "/CFS" is added to facilitate
search machines) which is a disease I have since 1.1.1979:
1. Anthony Komaroff

Ten discoveries about the biology of CFS(pdf)

3. Hillary Johnson

The Why  (currently not available)

4. Consensus (many M.D.s) Canadian Consensus Government Report on ME (pdf - version 2003)
5. Consensus (many M.D.s) Canadian Consensus Government Report on ME (pdf - version 2011)
6. Eleanor Stein

Clinical Guidelines for Psychiatrists (pdf)

7. William Clifford The Ethics of Belief
8. Malcolm Hooper Magical Medicine (pdf)
Maarten Maartensz
Resources about ME/CFS
(more resources, by many)

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