1. The situation in
Jud Evans' site
3. Going out tomorrow?!
As before: again, this is another brief Nederlog. And again, the main
not that I am ill,
but that I am doing other things.
In fact, I am trying - in a way - to return to as it was from
I wrote on this Nederlog or on this site without being bothered by much
knowledge about ME/CFS, and also did not pay much attention to what
situation in Amsterdam
Actually, I have not been going out today: I just do other things. And
not to go out is mostly like that of other people: So far, and for most
of this year, it has been
unseasonably cold outside.
In fact, this differs from how this has been since about 2001, since
when the reason that I did not go out was for the most part that I did
not have the energy to do so. As it is now, I wonder whether I
to the faculty of psychology and arrive there without being wet
(or for the most part), from my own sweat. For I could do that, until
2002 or so, but generally had to repay by arriving there as if I was a
Of course, this was rather convincing for those who knew me that there
was something seriously wrong with me, and indeed professor Molenaar,
who since then has left both the University of Amsterdam and Holland to
live in the US, did argue, in writing, that he would be grateful if I
got some help.
What I got, I think, were a set of Amsterdam bureaucratic criminals who
to talk with me, refused to sent my letters through to others, and who
tried to kill me, though indeed not by doing that themselves, but by
situation as bad as they could possibly make it - and here I have to
add that I
am sorry if I am mistaken, for which there always is a small chance,
but it is as it is, and as it is, also since there have been sold some 250
Billion dollars more in soft
drugs alone, in Holland, all illegally, and mostly in
Amsterdam, it seems that own view is what seems to be the likeliest
Indeed, I would write a lot more about this if I had the ghost of a
chance to be heard, received, or helped, but I think that (1) it is
most unlikely to happen, and that (2) the probability that there is
something rotten inside the bureaucracy of Amsterdam is as 1 - (the
chance I get heard, received, or helped). 
Of course, two other reasons not to do anything in Amsterdam are that
(i) my health has been quite bad since 2002, and that (ii)
other Dutchmen are completely uninterested in me, my life, my chances,
or my health.
So... that's the main explanation why I did not do anything since 2002
to improve my chances: Hardly anybody cares, and my life has been quite
difficult: It is indeed as if every decade got more difficult, and also
by quite a bit.
That is, I had mild M.E. from 1979-1988; mild to mediocre
from 1989-1998; and mediocre to severe M.E. since then, indeed also
because I got no help whatsoever. It is only now - the
last year, if I forget about my eyes, or this year if, more
realistically, I count them in - that I got a bit better with ME/CFS. 
2. Downloading Jud Evans' site
In fact, I have been downloading the first third of Jud Evans' site,
that I wrote about some days ago. This
was 374 items taking almost 30 MB, and I would not download everything
or indeed I had certain things already. Also, the files have not been
properly named, though by far the most have been.
By and large, it is a very interesting collection - or more precisely: if
you have my (sort of) point of view, which is very rare.
It certainly must have taken a lot of work to put it together,
indeed that is my main reason to download it: That - while I do have a
large philosophical library - there is much that I do not have, and
never will have, unless I download it for free from the internet, and
to do that I have to find it first.
As it happens, there are not so many good philosophy sites, and as it
also happens over half of the items Yahoo! finds on the subject
"philosophy" is in fact for women's beauty products:
"philosophy", over the last 5-15 years has become mostly a matter of
I am not kidding: I just downloaded the first 25 pages for
and got the first 20 mostly with advertisements from
"www.philosophy.com" that announces itself as follows:
So... soon there will be no
old fashioned philosophy left anymore, until one has progressed up to
page 20 or so
from stuff that these days is called "philosophy", but is in fact about
"skin care, while celebrating
the beauty of the human spirit".
is a brand that approaches personal care from a skin care point of
view, while celebrating the beauty of the human spirit. we believe in
miracles and the ...
Going out tomorrow?!
Well, that was
instructive! Tomorrow I might be going out, not because I have anywhere
to go, but because it will be the first day with temperatures that are
more or less decent: 18 - 22 degrees Celsius.
And I will have the health to enjoy some of that, which has not been
the case for at least 10 or 15 years now.
It is not that I am much better, for I am not, but that
I am not much
worse, even though I have had a rather horrible last year - and now I
can do a little more.
I am leaving out almost everything I could have said on this place. In
any case, (the chance I get
heard, received, or helped) = 0 + a very, very small addition to that.
And the reasons why I think so is the total refusal of anybody
to talk with me + the utter certainty that a number of Amsterdam
bureaucrats had that they could say anything whatsoever to me without
there being any chance of their being corrected.
 Also, "a bit better with ME/CFS"
is about what it amounts to: It is not very much, but it is better (a
bit), especially if one keeps in mind that I have not gotten
much worse than I was, which is almost certainly the effect of mB12.
(that I prefer
to call M.E.: The "/CFS" is added to facilitate
search machines) which
is a disease I have since 1.1.1979: