April 13, 2013

About Amsterdam + philosophy + going out
1. The situation in Amsterdam
Downloading Jud Evans' site
3. Going out tomorrow?!

About ME/CFS


As before: again, this is another brief Nederlog. And again, the main reason is not that I am ill, but that I am doing other things.

In fact, I am trying - in a way - to return to as it was from 1993-2009, when I wrote on this Nederlog or on this site without being bothered by much knowledge about ME/CFS, and also did not pay much attention to what others wrote.

1. The situation in Amsterdam

Actually, I have not been going out today: I just do other things. And my reason not to go out is mostly like that of other people: So far, and for most of this year, it has been unseasonably cold outside.

In fact, this differs from how this has been since about 2001, since when the reason that I did not go out was for the most part that I did not have the energy to do so. As it is now, I wonder whether I can walk to the faculty of psychology and arrive there without being wet all over (or for the most part), from my own sweat. For I could do that, until 2002 or so, but generally had to repay by arriving there as if I was a sponge.

Of course, this was rather convincing for those who knew me that there was something seriously wrong with me, and indeed professor Molenaar, who since then has left both the University of Amsterdam and Holland to live in the US, did argue, in writing, that he would be grateful if I got some help.

What I got, I think, were a set of Amsterdam bureaucratic criminals who refused to talk with me, refused to sent my letters through to others, and who tried to kill me, though indeed not by doing that themselves, but by making my situation as bad as they could possibly make it - and here I have to add that I am sorry if I am mistaken, for which there always is a small chance, but it is as it is, and as it is, also since there have been sold some 250 Billion dollars more in soft drugs alone, in Holland, all illegally, and mostly in Amsterdam, it seems that own view is what seems to be the likeliest explanation.

Indeed, I would write a lot more about this if I had the ghost of a chance to be heard, received, or helped, but I think that (1) it is most unlikely to happen, and that (2) the probability that there is something rotten inside the bureaucracy of Amsterdam is as 1 - (the chance I get heard, received, or helped). [1]

Of course, two other reasons not to do anything in Amsterdam are that (i) my health has been quite bad since 2002, and that (ii) almost all other Dutchmen are completely uninterested in me, my life, my chances, or my health.

So... that's the main explanation why I did not do anything since 2002 to improve my chances: Hardly anybody cares, and my life has been quite difficult: It is indeed as if every decade got more difficult, and also by quite a bit.

That is, I  had  mild M.E. from 1979-1988; mild to mediocre from 1989-1998; and mediocre to severe M.E. since then, indeed also because I got no help whatsoever. It is only now - the last year, if I forget about my eyes, or this year if, more realistically, I count them in - that I got a bit better with ME/CFS. [2]

Downloading Jud Evans' site

In fact, I have been downloading the first third of Jud Evans' site, that I wrote about some days ago. This was 374 items taking almost 30 MB, and I would not download everything or indeed I had certain things already. Also, the files have not been all properly named, though by far the most have been.

By and large, it is a very interesting collection - or more precisely: if you have my (sort of) point of view, which is very rare.

It certainly must have taken a lot of work to put it together, and indeed that is my main reason to download it: That - while I do have a large philosophical library - there is much that I do not have, and never will have, unless I download it for free from the internet, and to do that I have to find it first.

As it happens, there are not so many good philosophy sites, and as it also happens over half of the items Yahoo! finds on the subject of "philosophy" is in fact for women's beauty products: "philosophy", over the last 5-15 years has become mostly a matter of "skincare".

I am not kidding: I just downloaded the first 25 pages for "philosophy" and got the first 20 mostly with advertisements from "" that announces itself as follows:
philosophy is a brand that approaches personal care from a skin care point of view, while celebrating the beauty of the human spirit. we believe in miracles and the ... - Cached
  • Bath & Body
  • Fragrance
So... soon there will be no old fashioned philosophy left anymore, until one has progressed up to page 20 or so from stuff that these days is called "philosophy", but is in fact about "skin care, while celebrating the beauty of the human spirit".

O Lord!!

3. Going out tomorrow?!

Well, that was instructive! Tomorrow I might be going out, not because I have anywhere to go, but because it will be the first day with temperatures that are more or less decent: 18 - 22 degrees Celsius.

And I will have the health to enjoy some of that, which has not been the case for at least 10 or 15 years now.

It is not that I am much better, for I am not, but that I am not much worse, even though I have had a rather horrible last year - and now I can do a little more.



[1] I am leaving out almost everything I could have said on this place. In any case, (the chance I get heard, received, or helped) = 0 + a very, very small addition to that. And the reasons why I think so is the total refusal of anybody to talk with me + the utter certainty that a number of Amsterdam bureaucrats had that they could say anything whatsoever to me without there being any chance of their being corrected.

[2] Also, "
a bit better with ME/CFS" is about what it amounts to: It is not very much, but it is better (a bit), especially if one keeps in mind that I have not gotten much worse than I was, which is almost certainly the effect of mB12.

About ME/CFS (that I prefer to call M.E.: The "/CFS" is added to facilitate
search machines) which is a disease I have since 1.1.1979:
1. Anthony Komaroff

Ten discoveries about the biology of CFS(pdf)

3. Hillary Johnson

The Why  (currently not available)

4. Consensus (many M.D.s) Canadian Consensus Government Report on ME (pdf - version 2003)
5. Consensus (many M.D.s) Canadian Consensus Government Report on ME (pdf - version 2011)
6. Eleanor Stein

Clinical Guidelines for Psychiatrists (pdf)

7. William Clifford The Ethics of Belief
8. Malcolm Hooper Magical Medicine (pdf)
Maarten Maartensz
Resources about ME/CFS
(more resources, by many)

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