1. Difficulties writing
Yesterday I wrote a Nederlog about Obama and about Carey and was almost
finished with it when I noticed that it had not been saved although I
had repeatedly saved it. Then it totally disappeared, and that is why
there is no Nederlog for April 7, 2013.
Today, as I am writing this text, the internet stopped, as did my
phone, through which my internet connection also runs.
I must suppose, for the moment, that the most likely explanation is a
breakage somewhere in the phone-lines: It does happen sometimes a
dragline mauls a cable.
Hence my title, as I will write about some of the difficulties of
writing Nederlogs and maintaining my site. I do not know when I can
upload it .... 
.... As it happens, after ca. 2 hours everything works again, without
me doing anything.
Difficulties writing Nederlogs
I have been fairly regular in writing Nederlogs since 2004 (when it was
called Nedernieuws, until 2006), but there have been stretches - days,
weeks, one time several months - there wasn't any.
Three reasons I can do so are that I always found it very easy
to write (and know how to type since ca. 1965); that I always have
ideas and interests I may write about; and that I am in the dole (which
is unfair since I am ill, but then much in Amsterdam and
Holland is very unfair, except for the political elite and the
rich, but it is also fair to say that without dole, or some other
way to get money for the necessities of life, I would have been dead
long ago, for I really am ill, and people like me will not get
work, and also often will not be able to do work they get: I can
guarantee only one thing, namely that with such "health" as I have I
can guarantee nothing).
I write these Nederlogs on what is for me the fittest part of the day,
that may vary a lot. I usually do it in one go, and then go to bed
again, and - by the way, as I am speaking of what enables me to write
these Nederlogs - it helps a lot I can do it sitting.
On what are for me good days it's not very difficult to write a
Nederlog, for the reasons I gave, and provided I can write it during
the for me best part of the day, and also provided I need not do any
carrying or much walking or standing.
On what are for me bad days, it may be quite difficult to write a
Nederlog, and there have been times I simply could not do it, in spite
of doing nothing else besides.
The three major problems I have, at least since almost a year now, are
(1) I have ME/CFS
and normally feel exhausted,
though this may vary, indeed quite a lot, though I've not felt really
healthy at any point since 1.1.1979 when I fell ill with a serious bout
of Epstein-Barr (mononucleosis), that seems to have never
left me , or at least the quite typical feeling
exhaustion, commented upon in note , never left me. (This is very probably also
related to the fact that one does not have "refreshing sleep" with this
disease: I generally wake up with muscle aches, feeling more or less
exhausted, and indeed tend to need to recover from that, the first few
hours, after which the pain and exhaustion generally feel less.)
This makes doing anything whatsoever more problematic than it would
have been otherwise, without M.E., but then it also is the reason there
is a Nederlog: Had I been healthy, there would have been no Nederlog,
and my life would have been totally different, and very probably far
more pleasant and less painful. 
(2) Since May 2012 I have serious problems with my
eyes, which are worse than they were, in terms of vision (I am near
sighted since around 10, and have been very near sighted for decades),
and often painful. This has been diagnosed as keratoconjunctivitis
sicca aka "dry eyes" (a euphemism for "eyes that feel like
abrasions"), and part of Sjoegren's
syndrome, that afflicts people with ME/CFS more often than people
This makes using the computer, writing, reading, sometimes even just
seeing, a lot more problematic than it used to be. It is very
unpleasant, and the only good thing I can say about it is that it has
been considerably worse than it is now.
(3) I use Ubuntu as an OS, which I
much prefer over MS
Windows, and which indeed helped me a lot to keep using a computer,
which has one major problem for people with large sites in html: There
is no good WYSIWYG html-editor for Linux, and I do need such a one
to help maintaining my site.
I generally use KompoZer, and sometimes SeaMonkey's Composer,
which are the "best" that is available, but both are bugged, and the
former is seriously bugged, and to use them - especially KompoZer - one
has to learn to work around the bugs.
The reason to use KompoZer is that while SeaMonkey is less bugged, it
also is considerably less powerful, but both editors have caused major
problems for me; have made me loose quite a lot of work I did; and have
forced me into much trouble to undo the damages they did to my site.
One example of the latter is the size of the fonts: If you find a file
on my site that has different font sizes in the same text, without
obvious reason, it has been put there by SeaMonkey or by KompoZer, and
in such a way that I did not see it in the editor.
I could complain a lot more here, but will not because something is
better than nothing.
Difficulties with internet
Since I changed to fast internet in 2009 the problems are
a lot less than they were from 2002-2009. From 1996-2002 I used
xs4all.nl, which (around) then was sold to KPN, which in turn seems to
be sold to Carlos Slim, though I do not know how this happened.
Again I will not mention quite a few things that may help or hinder
And there may be another Nederlog today, but I do not know.
 There is a theory, from the 1980ies, that
ME/CFS is "Chronic Epstein-Barr Virus disease". (See "Chronic
Fatigue Syndrome" by Jesse A. Stoff M.D. and Charles R. Pellegrino
Ph.D., Random House, New York, 1988, ISBN 0-394-56956-3, that claims it
is based on that theory - and I am not suggesting you read it,
for it is not very good, but only getting my references straight.)
This theory has since been left, or so it seems, though if you check
virus on Wikipedia and elsewhere you'll find that there is still
much to learn about this virus. There are fashions in all human things,
and in medicine too, and I do not see why Chronic Epstein-Barr in my
case, and that of my ex, who fell ill 10 days after me, and also never
got better again, may not be the explanation, though I agree I have no
other positive reasons - except that my and her health-problems started
with it and never went away (which for both of us equals 70 years of
In any case, my reason for mentioning this is that my ex and I soon
agreed that our disease comes with a peculiar kind of feeling exhausted
that we did not know before we fell ill, and always had in varying
degrees since, and that is definitely not the same as fatigue,
tiredness or feeling sleepy, that all feel different.
As far as English is concerned "chronic exhaustion" is much more
like it feels than "chronic fatigue" - rather as if one has a
brief while ago finished running the marathon, but not as if
one just had a good meal at the end of a busy day, which well may cause
what is adequately described as fatigue.
And a final point in this context, also related to the sadistic horror - for patients with
M.E. - that is called "Gradual Exercise Therapy": Having been ill
so long without any help, I have been many times forced to push through
feeling exhausted to try to do something, and the general result was
more exhaustion, more pain, more misery and a longer period - weeks,
months, perhaps even years - of getting over the harm done by the
 It is hackneyed but quite true: As long
as you have not fallen seriously ill for a long time or got invalidated
somehow, you really do not have any adequate understanding of how lucky
you are being healthy, and you really do not have any adequate
understanding of what it is to be seriously ill or invalidated. I am
speaking here also for my self: I did not know what it is like to be
ill, until age 28 I really fell ill.
The internet stayed off for about 2 hours and then
switched on again.
(that I prefer
to call M.E.: The "/CFS" is added to facilitate
search machines) which
is a disease I have since 1.1.1979: