July 20, 2010


ME + me :  Get your whee-whees cuddled...


It is warm again in Amsterdam - where I am, relative to my personal processing of ambient information - which shifts me from my original intention for Nederlog today, which was a reflection on the nature and quality of the average human mind and spine; the many ages of bogosity

bogosity: /boh?go?s@?tee/, n.

1. [orig. CMU, now very common] The degree to which something is bogus. Bogosity is measured with a bogometer; in a seminar, when a speaker says something bogus, a listener might raise his hand and say “My bogometer just triggered”. More extremely, “You just pinned my bogometer” means you just said or did something so outrageously bogus that it is off the scale, pinning the bogometer needle at the highest possible reading (one might also say “You just redlined my bogometer”).

aka BS; Feynman's observation on teaching

''The power of instruction is seldom of much efficacy
except in those happy dispositions where it is almost superfluous''.
   (Edward Gibbon)

and such choice observations and principles on institutions and hierarchies and human beings as formulated in the classical literature on these subjects like

“Leadership is nature's way of removing morons from the productive flow.”
    (The Dilbert Principle)

"In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence."
    (The Peter Principle)

"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
     (Hanlon's Razor)

Ninety percent of everything is crud”.
      (Sturgeon's Law)

so as to try to explain why I have so often been misunderstood, discriminated and cast out (from school, from the German Democratic Republic, from University, from my house, from those entitled to be treated according to existing Dutch law in Holland...), but then it is warm, and I was deflected.

Perhaps I'll do so later, but it is true Gibbon and Feynman understood and formulated it well, and it also happens to be true if sad that colors are indeed not very easy to see for the colorblind, though most are quite good at acting as if.

This leads me to my subject of today:

1. Get your whee-whees cuddled...

... which is an inspirational lecture on how we all may get healed from nearly everything, namely in the wink of an eye or in three days, at most.

I'll come to the three days to be healed from nearly everything but first, dear reader, I must clarify my title and we must sing joyfully - or at least we may sing and I will do so joyfully, having just very recently been properly whee-wheeed.

What is this "whee-whee", you may ask, and I will answer that it will improve your life dramatically, if you are happy enough to find your IQ small enough for it and (essential: No CureTM without it!) you can afford to pay (through the nose or other organ, as you please, provided pecunia non olet), with my boldings:

85-90 percent of clients [!! - MM] obtain immediate benefits from WHEE. When they practice this for their problems at home, there is almost universal success.

WHEE and related approaches are rapidly and potently effective for post-traumatic stress, unresolved emotional problems (e.g. prolonged bereavement, festering angers, emotional/relational hurts, anxieties, phobias, insecurities, lack of self-confidence), sports problems in relationships, and performance enhancement. ..

This MUST include ED - Erectile Dysfunction, dear ladies, gentlemen and Eric Johnson from I&I - a male complaint that in fact comes with the same major psychotherapeutical problem as do Viagra and Prozac:

Whereas these work, at something like resp. 1 dollar or 2 dimes a day, and with 95% certainty if indeed you do have the complaint they alleviate resp. straighten out so well for such a small and competitive price, alas your psychotherapist can not pay his second house in France from such ridiculous amounts, for which reason psychotherapists and other noble medical folks these days have returned to psychotherapy of various kinds to improve your depressions and sex life at a competitive and transparent market rate, and indeed found journalists to explain why, of course in an objective, impartial and very knowledgeable way.

But back to Whee-Wheeing, clearly competitive with Viagra, if slightly more upmarketly priced:

WHEE is empowering. It gives you a clear way to deal with almost any problem you might encounter that raises negative feelings.

This surely proves that WHEE solves almost any problem, for it so happens - the semantical savvy can tell - that "problems" come with "negative feelings", for else they wouldn't be "problems".

So there is A True Universal Cure for All Diseases - and no, it isn't death, as that old cynic Sir Thomas Browne had it: WHEE, or as I prefer to write, taken by the incredible empowerment it gives, WHEE-WHEE or also indeed WHEEWHEE . Verily! (Wu Wei, Gerrit?!)

Not to make you more tense than you are already, let me introduce you to a medical genius such as - I can confidently say - the world has rarely known, outside King's College London and Radboud University Nijmegen, to keep things in rational proportion:

  • Dr. Benor MD ABMH is the medical doc who discovered this Lying ProcessTM
  • He has a nice cuddly bearded coyly smiling face and a real twinkle in his proud therapeutical kind but quite manly eyes, and goes by the personal name of Daniel (Dany for intimi?)
  • He allows the spreading of the great tidings, and I quote and link, with pride in my soul and thanks in my heart:

          You may reproduce all or any parts of this article
    as long
         as you include credits as follows:
         Copyright © Daniel J. Benor, MD, 2005. All rights reserved.

But what IS WHEE, I can almost hear you scream in frustration - admit it! - namely because you - poor you, sick you, searching you - are not (yet) among the lucky ones whose Whee-Whees got cuddled?!

To know this dr. Daniel - The Whee Genius - Benor has introduced a convenient acronym by which lay persons may come to know, eventually: EMDR = Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.

Yes indeed: It's your Inner Eye, Virginia, that the doctor needs to me-dic-al-ly stimulate to get you well! Relax!

But that's not all: Doctor Benor will combine that, creatively, wholistically, wholesomely and medically with EFT = Emotional Freedom Technique, that proceeds by tapping the points where you can be liberated, when such a Therapist of Benorian Genius does

tap or press a finger at a series of acupuncture points on your face, chest and hand, while reciting an affirmation.

This works miracles, and indeed the reader knows virtually all, for to discover WHEE our WHEE genius only needed the deductive powers of his grey cells plus the help from none other than the family Clinton, with my bolds:

In an introductory workshop by Asha Nahoma Clinton on Matrix Therapy, Asha observed that alternating tapping the eyebrow points (*) while reciting the affirmation works just as well as the entire series of EFT points. Ever conscious of my time limitations, I immediately started exploring this hybrid approach, that combines aspects of EMDR and EFT, which I now call the the Wholistic Hybrid derived from EMDR and EFT, or WHEE.

See? THAT is WHEE: a wholesome wholistic hybrid composed from bits of EFT-ified EMDR, and vice-versa no doubt. (Yes, Virginia: EMDRarified EFT.)

It also comes with its Very Own Therapeutical Whee-Whee song, that the paid, processed and approved patients liberating themselves by Whee-Wheeing sing every day, or thus the present writer has been told, to the tune of Ten CC's

♪ ♪ Do the Wall Street shuffle ... ♪ ♪


♪ ♪ Get your whee-whees cuddled...... ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ Hear the dol-lars rustle ...... ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ See your doc-tor hustle ...... ♪ ♪

        Pom pom pa dumb, Whee Whee,
        dumb, dumb, dumb, Dumb....

And so on: You get the idea if you know the song.

What is WHEE - or as doc Benor himself loves writing, humbly: WHEE - good for and how does it work?

Well, as I explained WHEE is good for anything that is in any way problematic, hence good for anything. (And given that wellness enhancing goodness, it is relatively... I would not want to say "cheap", so as not to convey wrong impressions, so let me say: affordable, for the well off, with comfortably challenged IQs.)

How does it work? Dazzling Daniel the Whee Genius explains it In His Own Words (and laymen and -women, please remember EMDR = Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, and keep your paper towels ready:)

EMDR suggests the use of a "butterfly hug" as one of its self-treatment interventions, particularly for children: Your arms are crossed so that your hands rest on your biceps muscles, and you alternate tapping on each arm with your hands. Instead of tapping at the eyebrows, I often have children and parents use the butterfly hug with the affirmation. Many find the self-hug comforting, in addition to being highly effective in combination with the affirmation.

See? It has even more therapeutical tools of the most sophisticated cuddly refinement:

Here is a generic affirmation from EFT: "Even though I have this [anxiety, panic, fear, etc. - be specific when filling in the blank], I completely and totally love and accept myself, and know that God loves and accepts me unconditionally [or use whatever strong positive statement suits you best at the time you need it]."

This is - I am sure you all see - the subtlest of confidence-building Neuro-Linguistic Processing (which in turn is Wishful ThinkingTM therapeutically rarified and bottled, for all and only the cognitively challenged, for whom it works wonders, in concentrated doses, after payment), for the strongest of characters, who need constant assurance that they are "completely" and "totally" lovable; that they never did anything wrong; that none of the cathechism's long lists of sins applies to them, because characters of their strength do merit The Lord God's unconditional love and acceptance (as Dr. Daniel must have learned this divine pleonastic assurance himself by way of his heavenly cellphone, this being so palpably apparenly unbiblical, in the cynical eyes of the unproperly Whee-Wheeed).

And of course there is a catch, for there always is a catch. (Yes, Virginia, there is: Not 1 but 22 in real life, counting conservatively. Hands on your table dear: You need to properly hug and tap, please, like a nice gal.)

The catch is this, the good doctor Daniel tells us (in his bolding):

Where it doesn't work, the most frequent problem are:

  • The client has not targeted the problem accurately in the affirmation.
  • They have forgotten to massage the releasing point when there is a block in the process.

In layman's terms: It's because you haven't stimulated yourself well enough in all the right places by the proper massaging, to release yourself, you see... It's your fault if you can't find relief with your WHEEWHEE! So there!

Appendix: On LP-ing

At this point, the more intelligent class of reader will understand why I think it urgent that owners and moderators of ME-forums start collecting monies among their posters to have their whee-whees cuddled - of the owners and moderators, Virginia, and keep your hands on the table, please dear - and that it is a truly post-modernistic psycho-therapeutical process much akin to LP, to which I can offer the cynics some rebuttals:

For here is the full explanation of LP - and I quote from the above link:

We were not allowed to discuss the process with other sufferers but just to do it and recover. We were told to cut off all contact with other M.E. sufferers and when asked about LP to say we were cured. We were told to ignore symptoms and keep saying we were cured regardless. I know this sounds crazy but the coach was excellent at his job of VERY high-pitched sales and the people he was selling to were very desperate to get better. The product he was selling us was positive thinking; nothing more, nothing less. 

The Lightning Process is:

Believe the Lightning Process will cure you.

Tell everyone you are cured.

Stand on paper circles with some key words written on them.

Learn to say a rhyme when you feel symptoms, no matter where you are, and as many times as it takes to make the symptoms just go away!

Speak in positive words and think with positive thoughts only.

Shout "Stop!" at every symptom.

You are responsible and choose to have M.E. - you must choose a life you love.

If the process is not working, you are not doing it right.   

That's it, believe it or not. Sounds stupid, I know, but these are highly-trained life coaches and after handing over £880.00 we all tried really hard to give it our best shot. Not one of the four sufferers recovered and from talking to them I realised they were extremely sick, desperate people who, like myself, would do anything to get better.

And THAT is why I have brought up Ten CC and singing for A True Wellness:

Learn to say a rhyme when you feel symptoms, no matter where you are, and as many times as it takes to make the symptoms just go away!


♪ ♪ Get your whee-whees cuddled...... ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ Hear the dol-lars rustle ...... ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ See your doc-tor hustle ...... ♪ ♪

        Pom pom pa dumb, Whee Whee,
        dumb, dumb, dumb, Dumb....

For more on this most alluring, liberating, freeing, eyecuring, holistic, hybrid, freedom enhancing, unlimiting, enlightening, reprocessed therapy and/or training and/or WellnessTM BringingTM for all the cognitively challenged well-off from all genders and races, see my most excellent friend the Dutch genius professor Jos van der Meer, who is, together with his partner and mate and friend professor Gijs Bleijenberg, the absolutely perfect person to introduce The Full Powers of WHEEWHEE and Lying ProcessTM into ALL Dutch hospitals, to bring relief in the wink of an eye or within three days- and for absolutely everyone fit to pay and not fit to think.

More WHEE Empowerment:

P.S. This is also for my Chinese correspondent Xie, who cuddled my whee-whees for me, with a butterfly hug.

P.P.S. It may be I have to stop Nederlog for a while. The reason is that I am physically not well at all. I don't know yet, but if there is no Nederlog, now you know the reason.

As to ME/CFS (that I prefer to call ME):

1. Anthony Komaroff

Ten discoveries about the biology of CFS (pdf)

3. Hillary Johnson

The Why

4. Consensus (many M.D.s) Canadian Consensus Government Report on ME (pdf)
5. Eleanor Stein

Clinical Guidelines for Psychiatrists (pdf)

6. William Clifford The Ethics of Belief
7. Paul Lutus

Is Psychology a Science?

8. Malcolm Hooper Magical Medicine (pdf)

Short descriptions:

1. Ten reasons why ME/CFS is a real disease by a professor of medicine of Harvard.
2. Long essay by a professor emeritus of medical chemistry about maltreatment of ME.
3. Explanation of what's happening around ME by an investigative journalist.
4. Report to Canadian Government on ME, by many medical experts.
5. Advice to psychiatrist by a psychiatrist who understands ME is an organic disease
6. English mathematical genius on one's responsibilities in the matter of one's beliefs:
   "it is wrong always, everywhere, and for anyone, to believe anything upon
     insufficient evidence
7. A space- and computer-scientist takes a look at psychology.
8. Malcolm Hooper puts things together status 2010.

"Ah me! alas, pain, pain ever, forever!

No change, no pause, no hope! Yet I endure.
I ask the Earth, have not the mountains felt?
I ask yon Heaven, the all-beholding Sun,
Has it not seen? The Sea, in storm or calm,
Heaven's ever-changing Shadow, spread below,
Have its deaf waves not heard my agony?
Ah me! alas, pain, pain ever, forever!
     - (Shelley, "Prometheus Unbound") 

    "It was from this time that I developed my way of judging the Chinese by dividing them into two kinds: one humane and one not. "
     - (Jung Chang)

See also: ME -Documentation and ME - Resources

P.P.S. ME - Resources needs is a Work In Progress that hasn't progressed today.

(*) It helps to visualize this "alternating tapping the eyebrow points": Stand in front of your mirror; put your finger on your forehead near your eyebrows; look meaningfully and deep in you eyes; tap that forehead, repeatedly and therapeutically, and say, in an affirmative positive authentic responsible tone: "I am NOT an idiot. I AM not an idiot. I am not an IDIOT." And thus you KNOW, dear reader, for we all know the thrice told must be true. The Power Of WHEEWHEE!

Maarten Maartensz

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