Yesterday there was no Nederlog because I wrote rather a lot on the
about ME - where one can find what
I wrote here, if it works
Also I am not well, which is the reason I only write a Nederlog on
alternate days, lately, though that was not so much a decision as how it
works out at present, for me.
As the title says there is an ME video, made by and with contributions
of some members of the
about ME. The makers are known on
forums as Mr. and Mrs. Teej or TeejKay. It is TeejKay - the feminine half
- who has the ME/CFS, whose plight it is to be in a wheelchair... on a
good day, that is, if she is not in bed.
The members of the forums like it a lot and it seems well done. The
reason this may sound like faint praise by me is simply that my computer
has no sound on the moment, and a prominent part of it all is a song
Everybody Knows About Me - which accordingly I can hear as little as
any text or sound that comes with the video, that incidentally struck me
in two somewhat special ways, of which a little more below.
So if my praise is verbally less than that of others of the forum the
reason is that I have experienced considerably less than half of it,
missing the sound and therefore the composite whole.
First a link to the video:
Then why the video struck me in two somewhat special ways. The one is
that there is a picture of a woman in it who looks much like the weighted
half of two women I've loved long ago, which is a nice personal
coincidence, surely without relevance, so I just mentioned it to justify
The other is interesting in a personal way too but has a possible
connection to the or a cause of ME. I'll explain, in three steps,
for it is somewhat curious and interesting.
First, here is
a contribution of mine to the forums in a thread called Can you trace
your illness back to about 1980. I can, like quite a few of the other
members of the forums, and indeed, again like many of the other members
of the forums, I can very precisely recall when and where and how I fell
ill, because it was rather special.
Here is first my post to the forums, of April 16:
Interesting question... any particular reason for you to be interested
in this 'cohort'?
Originally Posted by Stormyskye
Can you trace your illness back to about 1980? I'd like to
know how many people here can trace the start of their
illness back roughly 30 years. Even if you weren't diagnosed
until more recent than that.
I fell ill on 1.1.1979, between 14.00 and 15.00 hours, while cycling
with my common law wife in the Dutch polders, while it was freezing
very hard and had snowed a lot.
I decided to cycle home as fast as I could since I was collapsing and
couldn't afford to do so while it was so very cold. I can still recall
the - for me - browngrey sky, that seemed to collapse.
My wife fell ill 9 days later: EBV. We separated 6 years later, and had
then been both ill then for 6 years,
with all the symptoms found later in the CDC-definition, though it
differed some for her and me.
Second, here is an image from the ME video - and the operative phrase
" I can still recall the - for me - browngrey sky, that seemed to
The architecture seems American, but the sky is the sort of sky I
cycled home under, on January 1, 1979, of a type I had rarely or never
seen, as above, especially in its brown-greyishness. Indeed, till today I
don't know whether that sky was there at all, for I was nearly collapsing
as I was cycling, for I had to be home before collapsing, since it was
freezing something like -20 degrees Celsius.
Third, all of this may be quite coincidental, but there are curious
sides to ME/CFS and its outbreaks, for there have been quite a few
outbreaks, that is a series of people who develop ME/CFS at roughtly the
same place and roughly the same time.
Indeed the above thread
called Can you trace your illness back to about 1980 is quite
interesting in this respect, and here is a
part of a post by a woman who calls herself Oerganix on the
MNC, I have wondered about this sort of thing, too. The "flu" that
put me down happened in the summer and was not like any "flu" I ever
experienced before or after. I was also exposed to organophosphate
poisons and suffered anaphylactic shock a couple of times due to that
exposure. I used to bicycle and jog in a park where I could sometimes
smell the herbicides and pesticides. At high temperatures, these
chemicals behave differently from their "safe" environmental
temperature, as in during a fire or unusually hot summer days. They
vaporize and become even more toxic.
Many of the symptoms we have in ME/CFS resemble nerve damage by
organophosphate poisonings...all of which are derived from agent
orange, the defoliant the US military used in Vietnam. Agent orange was
contaminated with dioxin, a powerful carcinogen. 20 million gallons of
agent orange were sprayed on Vietnam alone, and after the war Monsanto
and Dow quickly found other markets for their poisons, mainly in
agriculture and parks and golf courses. In the US, golf courses are a
major source of ongoing water contamination by poisonous chemicals.
Dioxin settles into the body's fat and never leaves. The brain is the
fattiest part of the human body.
Fourth, all of the above is circumstantial evidence at best, but it is
a fact that some English documents about ME/CFS have been forbidden to
the public by the English government till... 2071, that is effectively,
three generations from now, when I will be 121 and at long last be able
to see what no one is allowed to see now about ME/CFS.
But it wouldn't amaze me if there is a connection to ME/CFS of the
- ME/CFS is related to the partial breaking of the Krebs cycle (that
produces the energy in one's body) over the usage of phosphates
- This partial breaking of the Krebs cycle over the usage of
phosphates may have a genetical component (some kinds of people being
sensitive to it)
- There are and have been far more organo-phosphates around in the
world's environment the last 50 years or so
- Some organophosphates have been used by/for the military, as
outlined in the above quotation.
How much this does or would explain about ME/CFS - or indeed whether
it plays a role at all - is an open question....but I still
very clearly recall the quite extra-ordinary browngrey sky, that
seemed to collapse, when I cycled home feeling very ill on the day my
And apart from military uses, it simply may be so that some people are
genetically disposed to get problems with the amount of organophosphates
that now are in the earth's environment in general or at particular times
or places, which may be just too much for them to handle without
And indeed it may be the case the documents about ME/CFS that have
been forbidden to the public by the English government till 2071 do
detail some specific English military knowledge about organo-phosphates
that the English government much likes to be kept a secret e.g. because
of the claims for damages that would come in if the facts were known, and
the same might be the case in the US...
...which in turn might explain why both in the US and England the
governmental reactions to ME/CFS have been peculiar, cramped and indeed
crazy-sounding ("you must be mad if you think
you're ill") since decades.
I do not know. But as speculation it has some merit, especially
in view of the fact that the treatment of people with ME/CFS by
governmental institutions has been consistently awful, immoral and indeed
illegal in terms of the Universal Declaration for
Human Rights, and it would be nice to find some explanation for this
beyond the general melancholic reflection that alas many human beings are
neither moral nor particularly intelligent, and precisely such manner of
men are most prone to make careers in governmental and other
Anyway... the above picture of the somber and threatening browngrey
sky is both a good and evocative image for what one's life with ME feels
like and for the thing called brainfog that plagues many people with ME,
that permits little brainfunctioning and has been related to parts of the
brain not receiving enough blood.
P.S. An interesting speculation is what Vietnamese doctors -
who live in a country that has been bombarded with poisonous
organophosphates - may know about being poisoned with organophosphates.
And some of the evidence that Herr Professor & Frau Doctor Wessely vom
Weasel zum Weisel are mentally
sane if and only if (iff) I am not - as they wholly agree, miraculously
But see here which of the two logical alternatives a true iff comprehends
1. Ten reasons why ME is a real disease by a professor
of medicine of Harvard.
2. Long essay by a professor emeritus of medical chemistry about
maltreatment of ME.
3. Explanation of what's happening around ME by an investigative
4. Report to Canadian Government on ME, by many medical experts.
5. Advice to psychiatrist by a psychiatrist who understands ME is an
6. English mathematical genius on one's responsibilities in the matter
of one's beliefs:
is wrong always, everywhere, and for anyone, to believe anything upon
7. A space- and computer-scientist takes a look at psychology.
8. Malcolm Hooper puts things together status 2010.
me! alas, pain, pain ever, forever!
No change, no pause, no hope! Yet I endure.
I ask the Earth, have not the mountains felt?
I ask yon Heaven, the all-beholding Sun,
Has it not seen? The Sea, in storm or calm,
Heaven's ever-changing Shadow, spread below,
Have its deaf waves not heard my agony?
Ah me! alas, pain, pain ever, forever!"
- (Shelley, "Prometheus Unbound")
"It was from this time that I developed my way of judging the
Chinese by dividing them into two kinds: one humane and one not. "